the wisdom of the cycles

and listening to a tree breathe

Our theme at the studio this month is ‘The Cycles’.

This theme is so all encompassing I’ve found myself sitting down to write this piece multiple times, only to get a few sentences in and get stuck.

How can I write about the cycles when the cycles are everything?!

I need to go back to the beginning.

Before meeting Sara and Anki, I had very little awareness of my own cycle. As is the case for so many girls, when I started to become sexually active, around 14-15 my family doctor advised I go on the pill. All my friends were on the pill, for all kinds of reasons. Some were on the pill because they had acne. Others had painful periods. Some just didn’t want the inconvenience of bleeding every month. Going on the pill was the done thing. I didn’t question it. I started taking the pill which came in little green packets with the days of the week written on. There were 7 pills in the white section that were the sugar pills to take to give myself a ‘pill bleed’ which isn’t actually a period, but is a withdrawal from taking the oestrogen and progestogen hormones in the pill.

I had no idea about any of this at the time, and probably wouldnt have cared even if I’d known.

I thought my ‘period’ which I now see as one of the most sacred processes in my life, was annoying at best and ruining my life at worst.

I would always be bleeding at the wrong time. There was a party on. There was a boy I liked. I wanted to wear white pants. Like many of my friends I would often skip the sugar pills and not bleed at all.

The main purpose of the pill was to not get pregnant, but I did get pregnant aged 16. I must have forgotten to take the pills. I remember going into the doctors because I had a kidney infection and was in so much pain. He asked me to do a pregnancy test because I said I kept skipping the ‘bleeding’ part. My worst fears had come true. I was 9 weeks pregnant. I sometimes think if I’ve decided to have that baby I’d have a 24 year old child now. I sometimes wonder what they’d be like. There’s no sadness or regret, simply a curiosity and a whole lot of relief that I was born into a country that allowed abortion and had a healthcare system.

I still remember sitting up in the hospital bed after the procedure. My Mum was there and my boyfriend at the time. A nurse gave me a lollipop. I went back to school the next day.

I feel very grateful to have been loved through this process and although my parents were understandably shocked and upset, they supported me and didn’t disown me, or hold any sort of grudge about it. I often wonder why I have this life. Why did I get these incredible parents who love me no matter what. Why did I get the opportunity to travel the world? How is my life like this and so many women couldn’t even dream of the freedom I enjoy. It breaks my heart every day.

After the pregnancy I continued to take the pill and vowed to be more careful.

I was with this same first serious boyfriend for eight years from 15 to 23 years old. He was 10 years older than me and I dont really need to say more than that to tell you how problematic the relationship was. He was very controlling and I spent most of those 8 years in hiding, literally, as I isolated myself from all my friends and family and barely left the house under his control, and metaphorically, hiding all the parts of myself he deemed inappropriate.

I’m re-reading Women Who Run with the Wolves and I can see 23 year old me in the story of BlueBeard. Even though I was desperately unhappy, it took me a very long time to leave. When I eventually did, I felt weirdly strengthened by the experience. I felt like I’d been reborn. My life, which I honestly thought was over age 19 had suddenly been breathed back into life. I was free. I could do whatever I want.

Even though I was sworn off relationships I kept taking the pill. I was not put off men. I still loved men. I had lots of casual boyfriends and behaved in ways I’m not proud of, telling myself I was making up for lost time. I got lost again in a haze of partying and superficial connections that rarely went deeper than a shared love of getting as wasted as possible.

When I was 26 I left the town of Hereford that was slowly suffocating me, or rather was the backdrop for me suffocating myself. I didn’t just move towns. I left my continent behind, booked a one way flight to Bangkok and said goodbye to everything I’d ever known. I’ve never been one to do things in halves.

It was 2010 when I started my new life. The life of ‘the backpacker’. I could be anyone. No one knew me. No one knew my story. I could make it up as I went along and often did. When I left England I stopped taking the pill. I’m very grateful for this. If I hadn’t gone travelling I probably would have stayed on it, blindly for many more years, but the hassle of getting it overseas meant I gave up. I told myself I wasn’t going to have sex anyway, if I did I’d be careful and everything will be fine. My mantra.

Even though I stopped taking the pill I still had no awareness of my cycle. I’d never thought to track it. I still thought bleeding was inconvenient and it would always catch me off guard in awkward situations. I met a lot of friends whilst travelling through the question ‘do you have a tampon’.

My life led me along many different paths, twisting and turning and sometimes ejecting me altogether. I travelled across continents from South East Asia to Australia to the States & Canada before finally settling back in Australia with my next long term boyfriend. I never took the pill again. We would talk about contraception but the pill was always a firm no. I just felt different off the pill. I was way less depressed which sure you could put down to many things, leaving a place I didn’t like and an abusive relationship would definitely help, but I know it was because I could FEEL again.

I started to feel my own cycles and feel my own seasons.

I knew I would never take the pill again.

I met Sara first, in 2019. I remember her kindness and her strength. She was fierce and soft all at the same time. She was and is, deeply tuned in to herself, to the cycles and to the earth in a way that I’d never witnessed before. She started to talk about the cycles.

Around the same time, a friend of mine introduced me to the book, Wild Power. I started to learn about the menstrual seasons, outlined below:

Day 1 is the first day of your bleed.

Week one (day 1-7) resembles the energy of Mid-Winter to Mid-Spring. Bleeding & Letting Go. The Death-Rebirth phase. This is a time to rest and retreat as much as you can. Now, personally I dont stop teaching or stop running my life in my bleeding phase, but I do as much as possible cut out the non-essential. I do my best to not book in social events during my bleed. I rest as much as I can. I make time for more meditative practices.

If you’re coming to the studio during your Winter, I’d recommend Yin, Kundalini (without the strong breath practices) & Gentle classes. You may also feel like staying home, and I would encourage you to honour that.

Week two is the Follicular Phase (day 8 - 14). Mid-Spring to Midsummer energy. Increasing physical, sexual and creative energy building towards ovulation. This is a time to harness the creative energy and express yourself. You may feel more social, your communication skills may feel heightened, you may feel a natural optimism.

This would be a time to practice a sweaty vinyasa class, like Soul Strength, Soul Flow, Progressive Flow or Ashtanga. Pilates and deep core work are always wonderful at this time. You may also feel overwhelmed by the increased energy, so remembering to take rest is essential, in all phases of the cycle.

Week three is the Luteal Phase. Midsummer to Mid-Autumn energy (day 15 - 21). This is the harvest and the coming down from the high of ovulation. This is a time to celebrate your achievements and notice what needs to change. Sometimes this phase is associated with PMT which Jane calls ‘Pre-Moon Truths’. Basically we’re less likely to put up with things. Things we would normally let slide during ovulation start to make themselves known. If the same issues are coming up every Autumn this is a sign that something needs to be address. And a hot tip is to wait until you’re in Spring/Summer to have the hard conversations (not always possible!) but you’re more likely to be articulate and calm during this time.

This is a great time to clear space for the upcoming winter. Your practices may need a little more fire, for that completion or harvesting energy. You may be drawn to a practice like Foundations for its slow but strong approach. Notice your body need for increased rest and honour that. Flow to Let Go is a perfect Autumn practice.

Week four - the end of the Luteal phase, preparing for the bleed (day 22 - 28 approx, depending on your own cycle) . Mid Autumn to Mid Winter energy. The lessons from the cycle are available to be recognised as insights. A time to finish things, slow down, prepare to rest. Notice what’s coming up for you. Journal around any feelings of frustration. Can you give yourself the grace to slow down?

Week four lends itself to the slower, more introspective practices such as Yin, Restorative, Meditation, Yoga Nidra. Tune in. Trust your body.

If you dont have a menstrual cycle or are no longer menstruating notice how you feel in accordance to the moon. How do you feel the energy of the new moon and full moon?

So this is where the cycles start for me.

And these cycles are in everything.

If you’ve ever marvelled at the orange pink sky in those precious moments before the sun bursts over the horizon, you’re honouring the wisdom of the cycles.

If you’ve ever let out a big exhale at the end of the day, when everything is done or deliciously undone and crawled into bed after a hot shower you’re honouring the cycles.

If you’ve ever sat outside your house mouth open in awe of the silver, watercolour orb in the sky as La Luna graces you with her fullness, you’re honouring the wisdom of the cycles.

If you’ve learnt, even in the tiniest way to appreciate the winter, to love the warm clothes and the cosiness of the fire and the dark evenings that lend themselves so beautifully to reading, studying, drinking tea and playing board games, you’re honouring the cycle.

If you’ve ever said, no thank you, even though FOMO was eating you alive, you’re honouring the cycles.

If you’ve ever woke up and started your day by lighting candles, burning sacred smoke and singing thank you, you’re honouring the cycles.

If you’ve ever bundled yourself up in seven layers on a frosty winter morning to watch the sun explode in a bounty of colour over a roaring ocean you’re honouring the cycles.

At the studio we’ve been exploring the teachings in beginnings, middles and ends. We’ve explored the necessity of every part of this sacred trilogy that is represented in myth and folklore the world over. We’ve bowed at the lotus feet of Saraswati (the start), Lakshmi (the luscious centre) and Kali the fierce eater of time (the endings).

We’ve explored the Buddhist parable of the two rings, teaching us about the impermanence of everything.

On the 29th January, as the new moon arrives in the sign of Aquarius, the Chinese New Year welcomes the Year of the Wood Snake - a symbol of renewal, transformation and wisdom. Another cycle begins.

Yesterday I sat for a while on a blustery headland in the Murramarrang National Park. I was contemplating shadow and light. My own and the worlds. I had an urge to get very close to a shaggy barked gum tree, to hold my heart against her heart. As I was hugging this tree, the side of my face pressed up against her rough skin I heard a noise coming from within. I stood transfixed. I could hear the tree drinking. The noise sounded like the slurping of a milkshake through a straw. One of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. At first I thought I was imagining it, or maybe there was some other explanation but the longer I stood there the longer I realised. I’m hearing her pull the water up to the canopy. I’m hearing the blood in her veins. I was standing there a long time before I heard the noise. I think she could sense me and was ‘holding her breath’. When she felt like it was safe she started to drink again.

So, if you do one thing today, get your ear really close to the nearest tree. Stay there for a while. Listen. Be patient. Even if the sound isn’t audible she’ll teach you something, maybe everything.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading these letters. Thank you for showing up to class with open hearts and open arms. Thank you for all the random acts of kindness. Thank you for your trust in me. Thank you for supporting Soul Tribe and all of our incredible teachers. You mean the world to me. I’m forever grateful.

Love Clare

to work with me

~ living, breathing, loving, creating and teaching regular classes at Soul Tribe Studio

~ Yin Yoga Teacher Training in Batemans Bay, Feb/March 2025

~ Yin Yoga Teacher Training in Gymea, South Sydney, April 2025

~. 200 Hour Teacher Training in Batemans Bay starts 9th August 2025

~ retreats and workshops via Soul Tribe Studio